worst shoulders ever

When you schedule your very first MRI appointment over the phone, they ask you if you are claustrophobic or not. Also trying to sound like a big, tough guy to some woman on the phone that I will NEVER see in my life I naturally say "No". It's possible that I even laughed at the mere possibility that I could somehow be claustrophobic. Like that's possible right?

It's really not until you slowly slide back, arms pushed up against the sides, into that big tube, head first of course, that you realize that it's very possible that you actually ARE very claustrophobic.

It's never a good sign when the last thing the technician says to you is, "Most people find it more relaxing to keep their eyes closed". I think that's the politically correct way to say, "You are less likely to freak out if you keep your eyes shut."

Ok so up first was my right shoulder. Well more like my right pectoral major but it goes to my shoulder so whatever.

Things that crossed my mind right before the first series of loud ass noises started:

What if they start filling this thing up with water?
What if a rat got in here?
What if they keep moving me back into a furnace?
Can my tongue touch the top of this thing?
What if they freeze my body? Only to wake up in future.

Well luckily none of those things happened. Oh and for the record, my tongue could not touch the top but it was pretty damn close.

So one of my hands is wrapped around the "freak out" buzzer - just in case I gets tough in there. The other one, my right, is propped up with towels so that they get a good readout. I've got my headphones on with some sound of nature crap being pumped in when the tech says, "Ok first test. 4 minutes."

Then you get 4 solid minutes filled with sounds similar to those that come from the Tipods in the recent movie version of War of the Worlds. My strategy was to try and count to 4 minutes. About 4 tests or so into the entire scan I got restless leg syndrome or at least a light touch of it. Keep in mind you arent supposed to move at all.

So after 40 minutes or so when I finally got out of there the tech tells me that it wasn't an exact 4 minutes.

Wow. Talk about ruining a game. Thanks for nothing. I need exact times or else I can't concentrate. What's the point of playing a game if you can't win? That's like being DC United in the Champions League.

Wait did I mention the call I got a day later?

So the next day I get a call from the good people at Alexandria Inova letting me know that they need me to come back because they didn't get everything they needed during my 40 minutes of fun. Remember how I said it was kind of a shoulder MRI but they also needed some of my chest? Well they needed more of my chest.

Terrific.

I said I'd see them again when I came back for my left shoulder.

Pretty cool.

more later

another yanwer out at rfk

So United has a game tonight- nice.

A home game - even better.

Against a Mexican team - ok you've got my interest because I hate all things Mexican Football related.

In the regional club tournament - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So why the low interest?

Well it's simple. Over the last few seasons, DC United has given about as much respect to the CONCACAF Champions League as I've given to the WNBA. Ok probably a little more than that but you get the picture right?

United signed some guy yesterday, Tiyi Shipalane, and I'm sure he will start tonight. He's last year's verison of Boyzzz and Janicki. BTW Janicki needs to start out on the bench tonight after last week's hat-trick.

Prove me wrong tonight Tom. Try and match last year's group stage point total of 1 by the 2nd game and I'll be happy.


Arsenal: I'm looking forward to seeing if Diaby can put together back-to-back positive outings. I'm also wondering if Merida or Ramsey start in place of the oft-injure Cesc. I'd like for Eboue to get in the game because it will mean he's cup-tied and not going anywhere.

Here's to 4 in 4 for Billy Gallas.

Jessie Sapp to Scotland

Jessie Sapp is tweeting that he has just signed his first professional contract in Scotland. He's actually providing some very heart felt tweets on this subject.

Anybody can follow Jessie by clicking here.

His best two tweets are as follows:

**special shout out to my Georgetown family.. i have learned so much from that place and i will carry that name on my back forever..

**when i say family i mean students, fans, team mates, faculity, coaches, professors, alumni, even the bull dog, i love you all

EVEN THE BULLDOG! Incredible. I've talked to him a few times and I came away thinking he was a really genuine, nice dude.

Congrats!

I'm not sure what the Scottish League is like but I'm sure that Sapp can compete wherever he decides to play. I wish him the best and hope that he continues to work his way through the top European Leagues.

lebron, skins, & greek yogurt

**Rumors are swirling around the various Hoya message boards and blogs that LeBron might show up at Kenner League tonight. I doubt it but he was in town for a screening of his movie - More Than A Game.

**I didn't see exactly how it happened but the Redskins got shutout last night in Baltimore by the old Cleveland Browns. Today non Redskins fans seem awfully quick to decide that last night's loss is an indication that their season will be a disappointment.

I have a question: Would a lopsided win by the 'Skins have resulted in the same people thinking that it would translate into regular season success? My guess is probably not.

So the same jokers trying to say that the "Skins suck" are the same people who would have discounted a dominating performance by saying "it's only pre-season...who cares".

My advice? Wait until about 4 weeks into the regular season before worrying about anything.

**With last night's Banana Pudding still heavy on my mind, and in my stomach of course, I began to wonder how long it would take the good people at Chobani to incorporate Banana into their stellar Greek Yogurt line-up.

The most recent addition, Pomegranate, is great in taste but lacking with the amount of seeds. I don't want seeds in my fruit just as though I don't want pulp in my drink. No thanks.

This is how I'm ranking my Chobani Greek Yogurt:

1. Peach - A little slice of Yogurt Heaven.
2. Blueberry - Was #1 until they introduced Peach.
3. Strawberry - Hard to go wrong with Strawberries.
4. Pineapple - The package looks better than product.
5. Pomegranate - Take out the seeds Rick.
6. Vanilla - Low by itself, but much higher when I put in my own fruit.
7. Honey - I won't even try it. Just sounds gross.

i dare bob to start ching

I effing dog dare him.

Look it's simple - this has to be the line-up:

Howard
Spector Demerit Onyewu Bocanegra
Clark Bradley
Dempsey Donovan
Davies Altidore

I could even handle Bornstein instead of Bocanegra in the back. I wish Hejduk was available but he's not so you have to go with Carlos most likely.

I'd like to see Feilhaber and Torres get a chance to enter the game as subs at around the 60th minute or so.

Jozy is going to need a sub so at that point you put in Benny and push up Dempsey. Of course Torres probably won't come on if Benny does - more likely BB will put in Bornstein for Clark rather than two offensive minded midfielders.

Hopefully the only way Ching or Casey find themselves on the field is towards the end of the game when the US is trying to KILL the game because they are actually in the lead.

I like the US to win this game IF they can play the entire 90-plus minutes with 11 players on the field. I know that's asking a lot but I think they should strongly consider doing so for at least today. I have no problem with them experimenting with 10-men formations during the next friendly if they just have to get red cards.

its a love - hate thing

Howard and Vela.

Tim and Carlos.

As a soccer fan you have to have an extremely short memory when dealing with those pesky club and country rooting interests.

In a few hours Tim Howard will be my favorite keeper on the planet. Carlos Vela will be wearing that miserable Green shirt of the FMF that makes most normal people want to toss their lunch all over the floor.

Fast forward to Saturday and I will hate Tim Howard with the white-hot passion of 1,000 Suns. Carlos Vela probably won't even play, but if he does, I'll be hoping he slips a few past Timmay into the back of the net.

Quick turnaround huh? Nothing like a complete circle right?

Well that's just the way the Soccer World works.

USA v Mexico one day and Arsenal v Everton a few days later. You have to have a short memory or you will end up hating all teams due to the player swaps.

summer 2009 R.I.P

I hope everybody enjoyed their Summer because it's coming to an end in a few hours. I don't care what your calendar says, just trust me. It's over baby. The facts are undeniable.

The EPL kicks off tomorrow with the Community Shield. That means that all next week is a normal work week for the boys at The Emirates. I mean there is already an Everton pre-game thread up on BS. I think it's safe to say that BS pretty much legitimizes everything.

What else do we have? Uh the Coaches Poll came out on Friday. America's Team checked in at #23. Nothing says Autumn like College Football. NOTHING.

The Redskins begin their annual March to Mediocrity this Thursday night against the real Cleveland Browns up in Baltimore.

The only argument I could make for the Summer extending past 11:59pm tonight is the fact that Kenner League Playoffs start this week. It's a weak argument because most of the players have left to go home because school is starting and the KL started super late this year.

You know if I wasn't going to the DC United v Real Madrid game tomorrow I might have gone out to pick up a Pumpkin or perhaps get lost in a Corn Maze.

I mean tomorrow is Fall.

¿Puedo usar el baño?

I'd like to thank Austin Freeman for my morning pick-me-up today. Of course the reason I needed a pick-me-up was because DC United just insisted on taking entirely too long to dispose of El Salvadorean power LA Firpo as they eventually limped into the Group Stage of the CONCACAF Champion's League.

But getting back to Austin, he told a simple, yet funny story this morning via tweets. It should hit close to home for any of you that have taken a foreign language course in your life. I'm guessing that's most everybody.

Freeman was in Spanish class and had to use the facilities. He then politely asked, in English, to go to the bathroom. This is where he had a disconnect. He had to properly ask in Spanish. Next thing you know he can't go until class is over.

Ok so it's not the greatest story of all time but it made me chuckle as the texts kept coming one after another. I could see myself sitting in 3rd Period German with a full bladder and no where to turn to. And it would have sucked.

Twitter also came up large a couple of days ago with Jessie Sapp started talking about his offers to play overseas. I was wondering where he was going to end up. It sounded like he had 3 offers with one being in Israel. Good Luck to the Mayor of Onion Town.